Randomoniousness

Hey, don't look at me like that. It's my blog. I'll go for however long I'd like without updating! Take that.

Today's pet peeve = when people use the word "downloading" incorrectly. For example, when a customer says: "I need help downloading the program to my computer" When they really mean: "I need help installing the program." Come on folks. Downloading is completely different from Installing.

A few things I've learned over the past few weeks = don't allow yourself to be turned from a Bridesmaid in to a 6-hour Babysitter. Avoid being the last person to move out of a student apartment that hasn't been completely vacated in years, you will have tons of plates and dishes and crap to get rid of by yourself. And, this diet I'm on does actually work. :)

Questions with no answers....

....should not be allowed.


Why do some strangers have a stronger impact on your life than others?
Why is it that with some people, you remember almost every word they've ever said to you?
How can certain songs carry so many strong memories?
Why is it that no matter how hard you try, there is no way to completely remove some people from your life?
Why is it sometimes so complicated to take the simplest route?

No question is so difficult to answer as that
which the answer is obvious.
-George Bernard Shaw

Random thoughts.

So, one trip down the stairs, 11 screws, one metal plate, and 2 months later, I'm starting to walk again. I have a big plan to go shopping this week for some shoes that will fit over my once-size-9 left foot so I can start walking outside more. It's very exciting to be able to walk with the assistance of only one crutch, leaving my other hand to be able to carry things. Something as simple as carrying your own glass of water can be incredibly fulfilling.

I'm seriously considering hiring a personal trainer at the gym to help me get back(....) in to shape, so I don't end up re-injuring this retarded ankle. Especially considering my McDreamy-wanna-be orthopedics doc won't get me in to physical therapy for another 3 weeks. Come on folks.

I have two years to graduate college (now that I'm 21...), save up $10,000, and lose x amount of lbs. Two years may seem like a long time, but it goes by reaally quickly. That is my deadline. I'm not entirely sure how feasible it's going to be to graduate college AND save $10,000, but hey. I figured yesterday that simply living at home for the next 2 years will save me just about $7,000. Europe, here I come!

In closing, I would like to leave you with an important term and definition...

Facebook (n.): yet another facet of life that enhances awareness of one's state of being single.

From the crutch to the cane to the highwire

"Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an
affliction, but nothing is more frightening than
to be divested of a crutch." - James Baldwin

So lately I've been thinking about independence. Boggles the mind why, given the facts: Friday was good old America Day, better known as the 4th of July; my leg is freshly liberated from its immobile status dictated by one green [tyrannical] cast; and I have regressed back to the time in life where I first learned how to walk. Except this time, I'm way less cute, and have a much greater distance to fall if gravity decides to stick it to me.

I have a 9-month old nephew who learned how to crawl this week. This morning, he managed to crawl out of my sister's room all the way down the hall and fall down the first set of stairs in their split-level staircase. He's still essentially made of rubber, as babies are, so he was totally fine apart from being a little scared. However, he was powerless to actually get back up the stairs. He couldn't just stand up and walk himself back to where he started. He was essentially helpless. He can eat food by himself, but he can't prepare it. And he sure can't walk.

I never thought I'd have so much in common with a 9-month old baby boy. He is basically the most adorable thing in the world, so maybe it's not so bad to have so much in common.

So what can I do, you ask? I can blog.

Travelisms

"If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel." -- Will Kommen

"Don't tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you have traveled." — Mohammed

"Traveling tends to magnify all human emotions." — Peter Hoeg

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.” - St. Augustine

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things - air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky - all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” - Cesare Pavese

And my favorite:

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” - Rudyard Kipling

The best laid plans of mice

"Warning: worktime boredom may result in internet surfing and taking
useless tests." -A should-be warning label applied to Work

Apparently, my Real Age is a decent 23.5, my Intelligence Quotient is 130, my personality color is White, and my Disney Princess alter-ego is Belle from Beauty and the Beast. The things one can learn about oneself on the internet...

Just for fun, I looked up the word "plan" in the dictionary. Dictionary.com, that is. Who uses a real paper dictionary these days? I don't even remember the last time I saw a print dictionary up-close and personal. But I digress.

My favorite given definition of plan:

One of several planes in front of a represented object, and perpendicular to the line between the object and the eye.

"In addition to the idiom plan, also see best-laid plans"

My plans do always seem to end up perpendicular to the line that connects the object and my eye. Never parallel to that line, creating a pathway in between for me to walk down, but rather an intersecting, cutting that line between me and the object. This leads me to question the purpose of plans anyhow. What precisely is the point, if the best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft agley? Don't get me wrong, I can definitely appreciate the benefits that come from grander scale plans (like Health Care, Economy, Peace-keeping, you get the drift). Making plans on such an insignificant scale as my future seems fairly futile. Plans are constantly in a state of flux. One tiny vicissitude and the whole line shifts. Someone should write to Merriam-Webster and petition to have the word "fluid" added to its definition.

I have always felt like my own future was going to be unordinary. Not necessarily extraordinary, but against what is expected. Grow up, go to college [to] get married and have babies and that's it? I live in a culture where that is normal, expected, praised, even idolized by the majority of girls probably from birth. In good ol' Happy Valley, if you're female and umarried by 23 or at the very latest 25, you're a menace to society. I personally know so many women who are 38-40 and are already grandmothers. Got married at 18 and had a baby, then that child grew up and got married at 18 and had a baby.. etc. I've never felt that pull. Sure I want to get married and have a family eventually, like anyone else. I sure don't want to be alone the rest of my life! But what is coming?

Am I afraid of my future or am I just too comfortable standing still to take any risks?

I need to graduate college. I want to live in Europe. I want to make an impact and create memories that are unique, not average.

Oh the places I'll go. I'll get there someday.

Cripfucius fortune cookie says...

When you’re only wearing one sock a day and you’ve run out of socks,
it’s probably time to do laundry. -Cripfucius

One week. That's all I have left in this lovely bright green cast that goes nearly to my knee and shows only my first 3 toes, which happen to look rather cute with red nail polish thank you very much. Six weeks ago, my legs committed mutiny as I was leaving an overly long work day. My right leg decided to slip off a [carpeted!] stair, but it was my left leg that was really out to get me. I guess if you're going to break your leg, you oughta break it thoroughly. I'm debating whether or not to include the last days of my broken leg escapades here, I'm sure it will be several weeks afterwards before I can really walk again, but as Bob would say, baby step to the cast off... baby step to the cast off.. I'm sailing!

(If you get the above reference, you get 10 points and possibly a cookie.)

Nobody ever talks about the emotional roller-coaster this kind of thing puts you through. It's completely and outrageously nuts and I respectfully object your honor. Oh you'd think it's just your average every-day bimalleolar equivalent fracture needing a metal plate and 11 screws, right? Yeah, you'd think so. No, my friends.


!!!!Coming soon, to a theater near you:!!!!
My Time As A Cripple
(*deep voice* Rated R. not really.)

Starring:
Me playing "Me"
Left Leggus playing "The foot that was curious what Me's butt looked like while falling down stairs"

"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll scowl, you'll wake up hungover without getting to have the fun night before. Entertainment for the whole family!" -Famous critic also known as Famous Critic


Something interesting I learned this week: an surgeon is legally bound to autograph a patient's extremity to be operated on as part of the pre-op procedures. The doctor then mysteriously disappears and the patient is wheeled from the pre-op room in to the OR. Enter the anesthesiologist, who must then verify the surgeon's initials are already on the said extremity before allowing the surgeon to operate. Then comes the fun part.

And there I was thinking that Dr. Bacon was being funny, but no.


Does anyone know the technical term for "being deathly afraid of stairs"? I'd like to put it on my impressive resume.