Friday, June 27, 2008

The best laid plans of mice

"Warning: worktime boredom may result in internet surfing and taking
useless tests."
-A should-be warning label applied to Work

Apparently, my Real Age is a decent 23.5, my Intelligence Quotient is 130, my personality color is White, and my Disney Princess alter-ego is Belle from Beauty and the Beast. The things one can learn about oneself on the internet...

Just for fun, I looked up the word "plan" in the dictionary. Dictionary.com, that is. Who uses a real paper dictionary these days? I don't even remember the last time I saw a print dictionary up-close and personal. But I digress.

My favorite given definition of plan:
One of several planes in front of a represented object, and perpendicular to the line between the object and the eye.

"In addition to the idiom plan, also see best-laid plans"


My plans do always seem to end up perpendicular to the line that connects the object and my eye. Never parallel to that line, creating a pathway in between for me to walk down, but rather an intersecting, cutting that line between me and the object. This leads me to question the purpose of plans anyhow. What precisely is the point, if the best laid schemes o' mice and men gang aft agley? Don't get me wrong, I can definitely appreciate the benefits that come from grander scale plans (like Health Care, Economy, Peace-keeping, you get the drift). Making plans on such an insignificant scale as my future seems fairly futile. Plans are constantly in a state of flux. One tiny vicissitude and the whole line shifts. Someone should write to Merriam-Webster and petition to have the word "fluid" added to its definition.

I have always felt like my own future was going to be unordinary. Not necessarily extraordinary, but against what is expected. Grow up, go to college [to] get married and have babies and that's it? I live in a culture where that is normal, expected, praised, even idolized by the majority of girls probably from birth. In good ol' Happy Valley, if you're female and umarried by 23 or at the very latest 25, you're a menace to society. I personally know so many women who are 38-40 and are already grandmothers. Got married at 18 and had a baby, then that child grew up and got married at 18 and had a baby.. etc. I've never felt that pull. Sure I want to get married and have a family eventually, like anyone else. I sure don't want to be alone the rest of my life! But what is coming?

Am I afraid of my future or am I just too comfortable standing still to take any risks?

I need to graduate college. I want to live in Europe. I want to make an impact and create memories that are unique, not average.

Oh the places I'll go. I'll get there someday.

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