Cripfucius fortune cookie says...

When you’re only wearing one sock a day and you’ve run out of socks,
it’s probably time to do laundry. -Cripfucius

One week. That's all I have left in this lovely bright green cast that goes nearly to my knee and shows only my first 3 toes, which happen to look rather cute with red nail polish thank you very much. Six weeks ago, my legs committed mutiny as I was leaving an overly long work day. My right leg decided to slip off a [carpeted!] stair, but it was my left leg that was really out to get me. I guess if you're going to break your leg, you oughta break it thoroughly. I'm debating whether or not to include the last days of my broken leg escapades here, I'm sure it will be several weeks afterwards before I can really walk again, but as Bob would say, baby step to the cast off... baby step to the cast off.. I'm sailing!

(If you get the above reference, you get 10 points and possibly a cookie.)

Nobody ever talks about the emotional roller-coaster this kind of thing puts you through. It's completely and outrageously nuts and I respectfully object your honor. Oh you'd think it's just your average every-day bimalleolar equivalent fracture needing a metal plate and 11 screws, right? Yeah, you'd think so. No, my friends.


!!!!Coming soon, to a theater near you:!!!!
My Time As A Cripple
(*deep voice* Rated R. not really.)

Starring:
Me playing "Me"
Left Leggus playing "The foot that was curious what Me's butt looked like while falling down stairs"

"You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll scowl, you'll wake up hungover without getting to have the fun night before. Entertainment for the whole family!" -Famous critic also known as Famous Critic


Something interesting I learned this week: an surgeon is legally bound to autograph a patient's extremity to be operated on as part of the pre-op procedures. The doctor then mysteriously disappears and the patient is wheeled from the pre-op room in to the OR. Enter the anesthesiologist, who must then verify the surgeon's initials are already on the said extremity before allowing the surgeon to operate. Then comes the fun part.

And there I was thinking that Dr. Bacon was being funny, but no.


Does anyone know the technical term for "being deathly afraid of stairs"? I'd like to put it on my impressive resume.